More ramblings on sweat pants

Well, we are over half way through December, and I still have nothing to show for my life...
We went to El Paso for Thanksgiving to spend the holiday with Seth's family, it was before the cold really hit here, so I was a little disappointed that the temperature was not much higher than here in Lafayette. Also a little disappointed that we didn't witness one drug related shooting or kidnapping, way to live up to your reputation Juarez.
Oh but the Mexican food. Words cannot describe the joy of shoving real Mexican food down my gullet for the first time in six months. Needless to say, I was quite gassy.
Seth has been busy with his last semester at Purdue, and looking forward to his future academic pursuits. I am looking forward to having a reason to get out of bed in the morning, because if I am being honest here, no one is here to witness if I change from my pajama pants to my workout pants, and there have been days that Seth has had to ask me if I had showered or even left the couch in the six hours that he has been away.
I have been doing some contract work with the Military Family Research Institute, which pays well, and forces me out of the sweat pants that have started to embed themselves around my waist. I drive to National Guard Members homes and interview them about their families, which is forcing me to eat my hat because when I left grad school I just KNEW I would never do research.
We will be back in Salt Lake for the holidays, and then will make a quick U turn upon arriving in Indiana and come right back for the foreseeable future while we await responses from the PhD programs that Seth has applied to. Nothing says 'making my own way' like moving into your mother's basement for the third time in your adult life.

A recap of November, and Marni inches a year closer to death.

I guess I should update this thing.
While I wish I could say that this short hiatus is due to adult responsibilities, I cannot. Unless you count hours spent in front of the computer watching old episodes of Teen Mom as adult responsibilities. Thanks to a very generous birthday gift from Alex, I was able to go to Seattle at the beginning of this month to visit with her and Danny, a much needed trip to the northwest, where I was able to interact with friends, an experience that I have not had much of in the last two months. My apologies to Alex and Danny for any awkwardness that may have ensued from my time in isolation. I was very glutinous, especially of the Mexican food, which if we have had a conversation in the last six months, no doubt I have whined to you about the lack luster velveeta stuffed Chile Rellenos that can be found in Indiana. We ate and drank and lounged, a Marni kind of weekend.
The following week Mom came out for her fist and last visit to the state, we were able to spend the afternoon in Indianapolis after she arrived. I tried to take her to the botanical gardens, but I guess they have "business hours" and closed at 5 pm, so we went wine tasting instead. Seth and I have discovered that there are actually quite a few local wineries here, and while some are classier than others, they are a welcome sight from the usual landscape of fast food chains and liquor stores. We wine tasted, hiked and ate organically. A mom kind of weekend.
Now on to the real news, Harry Potter 7 part 1. While I held out on reading these books as per my usual, "wait until something is no longer cool before I get balls deep into it". I will admit my reckless abandon no holds barred love for this series. I own that this may pigeon hole me into the ranks of the stay at home mom's who read the twilight series to capture the sexual tension and angst of their early teens, I have accepted this, and am willing to sacrifice my reputation, squelch any last traces of cool from my youth and just give in... Like freezing to death.
We will be heading to El Paso for Thanksgiving tomorrow, The first warm Thanksgiving of my life. I cannot wait for the Mexican food, I tried to convince Seth that we should forgo the traditional Thanksgiving fare for a more "South of the Boarder" approach, but he was not on board. Now for some pictures...
Oh, and I guess I turned 27, but does anyone really care about birthdays between 22-100?

Pictures for Seth

Seth expressed a belief that he was under-represented in this blog, so here are some pictures of the two of us, one at the Lafayette "Oktoberfest" and the second at the Snoop concert. Unfortunatly no pictures of my trip to Chicago as I forgot to pack the camera, bummer. At least Maribeth and I will always have our cherished memories....

Do-do post

I never considered myself to be a work-aholic, I have never had the urge to "always be doing", I used to be able to do nothing quite happily. My how times have changed. When one is forced into a state of "doing nothing" the restraints are just as confining as a full time job, but much less fulfilling. I wish I could just "do". We find ourselves thrown into another state of limbo here, now that Seth has decided to apply to different PhD programs. Now one thing is certain, and that is, there are no certainties.
The catalyst for this forlorn post is simple, the bill I received for my student loans today. Overwhelming in and of itself, but as I took my "eligibility quiz" for forbearance, I was asked to pick an end date to the delayed payment period. I burst into tears. I don't know the end date to this forbearance period of my life, let alone when we will be financially ready to start paying off my graduate school debts. I am filled with anger, anger that cannot be directed at any one thing in particular, it sits undefined as the lump in my throat, the tightness in my stomach. All because I cannot "do" anything about it. When I have struggled in the past, I was usually the cause of most of my hardship, and therefore could make changes to overcome and move through them. I dug myself out of debt, I restored my families trust that I could be relied upon to handle the responsibilities of being an adult, I took on these challenges and "did" something about them. Now there is nothing to "do" but wait, with patience and grace and support for the person who in my weaker moments I blame for putting me in this situation. I know the right answers, to just live in this moment, practice presence, do not get bogged down in the shameful past or unknown future. I know these things... but it is another thing entirely to "do" them.
In more uplifting news, I became an aunt 2x over last night, my auntie arms have been aching to cuddle with my new nephew, which will be another practice in patience as I will not get to meet him personally until December, by which time I may snatch him up and never return him.

I learned something new about myself, I hate James Joyce.

I wish I could say that I have some sort of writers block, but in all honesty, there has just been nothing to write about. My days are filled with forcing myself to watch the sixth season of " The Office" and laughing more because I want it to be funny than any actual comedic writing. Seth and I have been trying to keep busy with various festivals about town. Which have boiled down to "The Feast of the Hunters Moon" (an event where everything being sold has the prefix "ye olde".) And the local version of Oktoberfest, which is really just like the poor mans Fourth of July in October.
Ulysses defeated me. I got 100 pages in, and still had no idea why anyone would consider this a great piece of literature. Apparently it is a comparison to Homer's Odysseus.... Fine. Needless to say I will not be celebrating Blooms day with the Joyce fans come this June. I may be proclaiming myself to be an ignoramus, but I have vowed to never pick up another work by James Joyce for the remainder of my days. While in San Francisco I spoke with one of my cousin's friends, who is a literature professor at Cornell, who suggested that I may not relate to the writers on the Modern Library's Top 100 list because they are mostly middle aged white men who write about cheating on their wives, but she could not suggest an alternate list that would be more suited to my faithfully married young white unemployed tastes. I did some research of my own and found that Feminista! has put out a top 100 novels by female authors. Already I am much impressed, I just finished the Bastard out of Carolina, which was a story, with a plot, and characters who you could identify with. Well, maybe not me, as I have never lived in South Carolina, and I do know who my father is...

Pictures from the party

If you come to San Francisco Summertime will be a love-in there

Ahh San Francisco, being in a real city made me realize how much I want to be back in an urban environment. Just the novelty of sidewalks and shops with in walking distance was enough for me. I arrived in the morning and like a big girl, took the BART all by myself to my cousins office downtown. While riding a hobo serenaded me with "Easy like Sunday Morning". Another quality lacking from the country, the singing hobo. We get more of the stabbin' variety out here. At any rate, I was feeling so proud that I made it with Julia's directions, without getting lost or mugged, until I went back to the train to take a short jaunt two stops back so that I could walk around the mission area until Julia took off from work for the day. Then I made the fatal mistake of jumping on the Filmore train, which did not stop in the city, in fact it did not stop until we reached West Oakland. I managed to get back on a city train that took me to the mission and spent a good three hours walking the streets, sitting in the very hip Dolores Park, and buying delicious pastries from Tartine. I stayed outside the city with my aunt and uncle in Mill Valley, and spent the rest of the weekend eating, drinking wine and visiting with all of my aunts and uncles plus a few of my cousins and more than a few of their kids. Elizabeth and James are an adorable couple and their party was a perfect day filled with more food, wine and friendly bat gamin/volleyball tournaments.
One of my favorite parts of the weekend though, was getting to see everyone in Salt Lake on my way out, it is so strange to think that I have been gone for over four months. I have become an expert party planner of the pity variety when I think of all that I have/will miss out on. But I know that my connections to friends and family are greater than any distance that is put between us. I keep reminding myself that I have made friends in the past and am therefore somewhat likeable, so I should be able to connect with someone in the future, but then I also remember the many enemies that I have accumulated over the years...

This is how we do it, it's Friday night

Well, here we are. Friday night and I am blogging. To my credit I have actually been making an attempt at being a productive adult.
1) I filled out an application to read to senior citizens
2) I sold my juices for a sweet $35
3) I used my freshly acquired library card to pick up Ulysses by James Joyce
This brings me to my goal for the next 3 1/2 months, to read the Modern Library's best 100 novels (The boards list). If I have read the novel I am not re-reading it (Kiss it Faulkner, there is no way I am re-visiting a Light in August). This list made me feel entirely robbed from my high school lit classes. Most of the text that I digested in high school came from the book with the picture of the baseball player on it and consisted of various short stories by obscure unknown authors, or three page excerpts from more famous authors, I suppose the Jordan school district couldn't afford the copy rights. I have only read 5 of these books, three of these being way into my twenties. So I embark on this journey to become well read (it also doesn't hurt that I can accomplish this goal while lounging on the couch). Ulysses. Seth asked me what it was about, and much to my chagrin, I could not answer, but soon I will know, and when I find out, I will share it with you, as you can expect my posts to take on a much more pedantry air.
On that note, accomplishments two and three have me rubbing elbows with Lafayette's finest, the hobos. I am pretty sure that at any given point during the day, the entire homeless population of our town is either at the library or the plasma bank, and by January I hope to have a few new buddies who can teach me how to make a mean hobo chili.
Things are pretty dull here in Indiana, nothing really to report, Holly and Eric are coming to visit us for a few days on Sunday, which will be nice, because then we will get to really see all of the sights and tourist attractions of the Lafayette that you only visit when relatives are in town.....
Seth is putting his nose to the physics stone and is looking forward to graduating in a few months, or dreading it with the certainty of unemployment and eventual homelessness, it is hard to tell.

Shabbat Shalom ( aka a tribute to the big guy... Mike)

In honor of the Jewish new year, I am delighting you reader with a little treat. Over the course of the summer I received a Shabbat-o-gram in my mail box every Friday afternoon. These were from our Masada Unit Head Micheal (Big Mike). These little gems were so appreciated, that I saved them to share with the world, Enjoy!

First Week

Thank you for welcoming me to the Camp Livingston Family! I've had so much fun getting to know everyone and cannot wait to see how amazing this summer will be!
Shabbat Shalom,
Michael

Week Two
The start of the session has gone great
Lets continue to keep eating from a plate
Thank you for all of your hard work
I also have enjoyed some of your quirks
Lets continue to be a great team
And give our campers the summers of their dreams
Shabbat Shalom,
Michael

I have lost some of the poems, although I swear I saved them all, but I am not really sure of the order until the finale...

The summer is going by really fast
Make sure you take time to rest
It's been hot outside
Take your time and be a guide
Remember to try new things
and discover new mings
Remember to give it your all this week
and try not to be very very weak
Shabbat Shalom,
Micheal

The summer is beginning to come to a close
Please be sure to take home all your clothes
Please continue to give your campers a great experience
and do not stop running interference
I've loved working with all of you this summer
You do not want to end this summer on a bummer
I hope you have have a very enjoyable Shabbat
Let's not forget the lessons of cabbat
Shabbat Shalom,
Michael

I am so sad
I am going to become mad
The summer is coming to a close
Please don't leave any clothes
Why do our campers need to leave soon
Why are we going to be left with all this room
Thanks for all of the great work you have done
I have had so much fun
I hope I will see you all next year
I am going to shed a tear
Keep in touch as you go on your separate paths
Be sure to take lots of baths
Please call me and talk about your life
Don't leave and cut yourself with a knife
You have changed my life for the better
Please please please send me a letter
It's not goodbye, it's just lehitraot
Don't forget the song for hadaoat
Shabbat Shalom,
Michael

Shabbat Shalom Everyone!

The reality is setting in

I arrived in Chicago after 19 hours flight time, and 23 hours total travel time. It was so strange to jump back into American convenience and organization. It was about 8:00pm by the time I got through customs and then we had the two hour drive home (and the one hour time difference) getting us to Lafayette at about 11:00pm. I had visions of a luxurious bath, but instead plopped my dirty self down into bed and slept.
(The inevitable scrubbing did come the next morning).
It is so strange to go from this summer, or this last year I guess, of constant occupation, to having NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING to do. You would think that at least with this lull, would come a sense of relaxation, what with having no obligations and all, but there is this annoying little voice in the back of my head that says, "Enjoy it while it lasts, because soon you will be working at Walmart to pay off your student loans." I laugh at this now, but I am sure in a couple of months I will be begging to restock shelves. Oddly enough, I don't feel a sense of doom with the uncertainty of the next year, either everything is going to work itself out, or my brain is protecting me from the crippling anxiety that if I felt in it's entirety, would make my heart explode.
But there are still clothes to unpack, dogs to be walked and logistics of moving out of state for the first time in 18 years to be dealt with, not to mention the Lord of the Rings Marathon that I am planning for later today.... so I suppose I will be kept busy for the next few hours at least.

Trying For Something

Every night at dinner we do highs and lows, which is where we all stand up and say the high and low point of our day. This parallels the way I feel about India in general. There seems to be no in-between. You are either participating in some of the most meaningful experiences of your life, or witness to some of the most devastating. I have been reading “Eat Pray Love” while I am here (I know, how annoying am I to be reading this while in India?) and my favorite quote from this book so far has been “This is a good sign, having a broken heart, it means we have tried for something”. Even though it is difficult to witness some of the scenes in the colonies, or to hear some of the children’s heart wrenching stories, it means that we care, that we love the people we encounter, otherwise we would feel indifferently. We are here trying for something.

To give and receive love from a person who has been dealt the cruel hand of leprosy will forever leave it’s marks on our hearts and theirs. These people have been outcast, and disregarded, but they get to share themselves with us, which gives them back their worth. This kind of love is so rare; it is like discovering a new part of your heart.

We get to see the children at their best, learning to read, and help them to have a feeling of accomplishment. When you see them have that “ah-ha” moment, there is no greater success. The work we do with and for the children will have the greatest impact. India has taught me many lessons, some of which were expected, many of them were not. We came with the intention of giving back, to be able to come home and tell our friends and family of our work and experiences, but India has it’s own plans. We receive more in gifts of love and kindness than we could ever hope to give, and the experiences we have here can never fully be shared with those who have not visited this place and met it’s people. I will take away much more than an elephant inside an elephant, or lice, or intestinal parasites, I will bring home memories and relationships that will be with me the rest of my life.

தி க்ரியடேஸ்ட் லேச்சொன் எவர் லீர்நெத் இஸ் ஜஸ்ட் டு லவ் அண்ட் பே லோவேத் இன் ரெடுக்ன்

Pictures of Delhi

Delhi Trip

This will be a post that I am sure is incomprehensible due to how tired I am, but I need to update, it's been almost a week!
We went to Delhi and Agra this weekend to see the Taj Mahal, it was incredible. The weekend was packed full, and I think it is catching up with me now. I met a man on our flight from Chennai who travels back and forth from New Jersey to Delhi and Chennai every couple of months for business. I asked him how he got through those flights, as it just about killed me getting here, he said that " You just learn to get really drunk really fast". When we arrived in Delhi we went straight to old Delhi and took a ride on bicycle rickshaws through the really narrow, really crowded marketplace and spice market, I thought I had adjusted to the sights of India, and has stopped staring at everything in wide eyed wonder, but Delhi threw me right back into amazement. The bus ride to Agra (where our hotel and the Taj Mahal are located) was about a six hour bus ride from Delhi, and we arrived at about 11:30pm, and needed to be up by 4:45, so that we could see the sun rise over the Taj. (It turned out to be overcast, so this didn't matter, but at least we beat the really big crowds). The Taj Mahal is made entirely out of Indian Marble, with precious stone inlay. We watched some men do this work later in the day, and it is understandable now why the Taj took 17 years to build. It is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen, and I even sat on the Princess Diana bench attempting to look at forlorn as she did. To think that this mausoleum was a testament of love makes you realize how special it truly is, and how much Seth better mourn me after I die. ( I am expecting a tomb of equal grandeur).
We did some shopping, ate at Hindu McDonald's! (Number one here is a Mc Veg, I kid you not) and then some of us decided to be delighted by the talents of the local Dancers at a show depicting the very romanticized version of the love story of Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal. I couldn't take pictures during the show, but there was a lightshow Taj Mahal rave at the end that you do not want to miss. As Shannon one of our other volunteers so accurately stated, every time something came out of they hydraulic lift from under the stage, she pictured herself throwing her rupees into it, It was a very magical evening to say the least.
Sunday we got to sleep in a little, gorge on brunch and head out to catch our Elephant ride before taking off to the airport. The ride reminded me a little more of the depressing circus scenes in Dumbo than of the crazy carnival in the streets scenes of Aladdin that I pictured, but I now have pictures to prove that I have been atop an Elephant, and I will just brush away the feelings of depression that accompany it. We are back into the swing of things here for a few more days before we leave on Friday, and then I have two more days in Chennai before coming home a week from today!

A very bipolar post

There are things that happen here, that even though I don't want to, I know I will forget. So this post is just a few little things that I will want to remember, but that aren't significant enough to stand out against all of the other stories that will come out of India.
1- We have a pair of brothers here who are named Joseph Stalin, and John Kennedy. John Kennedy was kicked out of the school for bad behavior, and Joseph Stalin is one of the best behaved boys in school, go figure.
2- Instead of the license plate game we try to spot three men who DO NOT have mustaches, because the mustache is a mystical thing of beauty, and EVERY man seems to have one. Or if you can't find any clean shaven men, then you see who can spot the most men peeing on the side of the road.
3- There was a torrential down pour a couple days ago, and it just happened to pick the evening when I wore the white churidar. Indian wet t-shirt contest.
On to the last few days, yesterday I worked construction, which was difficult but rewarding, getting to actually physically see the progress we have made. Katie one of the volunteers who has been here all summer said that the Indian workers can move a lot faster than us, but we provide them with entertainment through our struggling to lift one brick, as they carry 20 on their head. Perhaps it is because of this, or because I have finally adjusted to the time difference, but I actually slept until 8 am, this is a miracle, because usually I am up between 5:30 and 6:00. We started to watch a Bollywood movie last night, but I am an old lady and had to cash in my chips, early, so I didn't get to finish it. Today we got to go into another colony, one that was much smaller than the first. There was a woman there who was missing both of her feet and most of her hands. She had broken her hip about 6 months ago, but the hospital does not want to replace it, so Dr. Kumar has to go back every couple of months and do battle to see if he can get her a new hip. Her grandson has to carry her everywhere, and she is in constant pain, you can tell by the look on her face. We were testing for diabetes today, and Javier was the unlucky volunteer who was charged with poking the patients to get a sample of their blood sugars. This grandmother was the last to be tested, and we could not get blood from her, Javier tried her fingers and even her palm, but nothing came out. My heart broke as I watched, it was a situation where if I could have taken her pain and made it my own I would have. There is so much suffering here, and these people handle themselves with perseverance and grace.
We also spoke with a young woman who had graduated as a lab technician, and who could speak the most English out of anyone in the colony. She showed us her diploma, and even her marks in school (she graduated at the top of her class). She also shared with us that she was married, and that her husband did not want her to work, so she stayed home. The remainder of my heart broke in half again. Katie asked her if she was happy, and the young woman said that she was, and that she liked to be able to help her mother after being away in school for 20 years. The social worker in me told me that if this is what the she wanted, and it made her happy, then I needed to butt out, but the woman in me wanted to scream. This is 2010, and this beautiful, intelligent person did not work because her husband didn't want her to. I have to take a breath and remember that I am in a new culture, things here will never be the same as they are for those of us living in the states, nor should they be. Nevertheless, I hope that the work I do here will someday help little girls at this school to grow up and use their talents, to share what they have to offer with the world, and to never let another hold them back. Sorry to end on such a bummer, but it is a scenario that is all too common in the world, and I don't want these two ladies stories to go unrecognized.

Two picture posts in two days? Ain't you lucky!

Here are some shots of our day trip to Mamalappurum. I have many more, but it took about a year to upload these, so this is all for now. Today is a slow day around here, many of the other volunteers went into Chennai for church, so Rien and I took a walk into the village, when we were walking back to Rising Star's campus, we came across the rest of the volunteers who did not go into town, and some villagers at the local temple, they gave us some sweet mush and dark garbanzo beans, and then put the red marks on our forehead, I think this has something to do with Indian Independence day, which is today. There is a festival going on in the village this afternoon which we will try to attend, not really sure what to expect, but I have a feeling it will differ slightly from the Stadium of Fire.

Malalappurum

The entire city coated itself onto my sweaty face, as evidenced by the gray brown steaks of filth on my churidar (India top). This is proof of a day well spent. Today we went to Malalappurum, it is a beach town about two hours south of us, it is more of a tourist trap than any other town I have visited here, and we spent the day visiting ancient temples and bartering for goods. I had a couple of churidars tailored and took about a million pictures. The restaurant where we ate lunch was so delicious and my lunch of coconut vegetable curry and Pepsi was the equivalent of about $2.50. I got some sweet gifts for many of you out there, so look forward to Christmas, because I am planning on killing two birds with one gift. My favorite parts of the trip by far though are the bus rides, I cannot take my eyes off the window, this country fascinates me, it is another world over here quite literally. Last night was a little rough as I had heart burn like I have never experienced in my life, and for those of you who know my gastrointestinal system, you know that I am no stranger to reflux. I couldn't sleep, and even after a Pepcid and 5 hours of hypnotic induced sleep, I still had a belly of fire. One of my roommates looked up how to naturally cure heart burn, the internet's suggestions:
Avoid spicy and exotic foods.
Not happening, so I have just resigned myself to the fact that I will feel like my stomach and esophagus are eroding for the next two weeks, if you could taste the curry, you wouldn't judge. The temples are beautiful and unbelievable, carved into stone and sitting right on the beaches. I will post pictures tomorrow, but for now, I need to colapse. Nalliravu.

These pictures at the top are of the kids that are here at the school during their hour of playtime everyday, the concept of play for children is very foreign here, children are expected to either be working or in school. These kids wake up at 6:00 am their day is structured until 8:00pm. It is so incredible to watch them play, because it is a universal language, if you just saw the shadows you would not be able to tell that these children come from the terrible poverty and hardship that they do.
The picture of me is with one of the patients at the colony, and below that is an artist from the colony. Their is an art school that was started to help the villagers make a living, and all of them have learned to paint, even though most of them are missing fingers.
The next shot is of the outside of our volunteer hostel, I know, I am spoiled.
The final shot is just outside of our hotel in Chennai, this picture does not even come close to capturing the energy of this city, but I had to at least give you a glimpse.

Gettin' here continued

Not sure why Blogger wouldn't let me edit the above post, I had saved the what I had written last night, and wanted to finish up today, but I guess I will just have to write a new post.
So, after we got to the hotel, I tried to take a nap for a few hours before I needed to meet up with the other volunteers, and I got my final real shower (by real I mean not with a bucket), and went downstairs to meet the crew. We all piled onto the un-air conditioned school bus and headed out for Rising Star. I have never taken such an amazing car trip in all of my life, I didn't want to talk to anyone for fear that I would miss out on the action of the city. There are shops crammed next to huts, next to office buildings, people are EVERYWHERE, and tucked into all of this are alcoves where they have set up Hindu prayer conclaves. These are of course my favorite structures, because of their use of color and sculpture. I was mesmerized, there is no comparison to this culture in the US, and while I am typing this I realize how little justice I am doing describing it.
We arrived on campus and were given some time to settle in. The facility is so much nicer than I imagined, and we have AC in our rooms, which may seem like a luxury item, but when I tell you that I have peed exactly one time in the now 36 hours that I have been here, even though I have consumed enough water and Gatorade for a horse, you will understand why. We met the kids, who are adorable, and refer to us all as "Auntie". I spent a good 15 minutes watching three little boys show me cartwheel after cartwheel, before each turn yelling "Auntie, watch this!" Jenny, out volunteer director, bought all of the female volunteers Jasmine to put in our hair, as is the custom, I did my best to find the longest strand to bobby pin, but even with my efforts the kids made fun of me. "Auntie, why do you have jasmine in your hair if you don't have any hair?". We eat dinner on the roof of the girls hostel every night, and the food is delicious, and so far, all vegetarian, compared to camp where the food was usually deep fried and full of meat. All of the volunteers are assigned to a "house" where each night we visit and help the kids with their homework and read stories. I of course ended up with a little girl who needed help with math homework, which just proved that my quarter ass public education does me no good. It took me a good ten minutes to remember how to do multiplication of more than three numbers. The worst part being that the little girl was frustrated, and I felt as though my efforts were for not, because in the end the only thing I succeeded in doing was making a little girl hate me, because I made her do math homework.
Today I got to go to the colony for leprosy patients, it was a humbling experience. We visited a facility that is actually translated to "Old Folks Home", and I helped wash the patients feet and hands that had sores and calluses. This was one of the most intimate experiences I have ever had, and is proof that even though you do not share a language with someone, you still share connection in your basic humanity. This particular colony was a really nice one, and many of the people that live there have houses instead of huts, and there was less garbage in the streets there than anywhere I have seen so far.
One last thing I forgot to mention, our toilets here are "squatters" which means that you squat over a hole in the ground that flushes. Just a thought for you to ponder as you sit upon your royal American thrones.

Gettin' here

I arrived safely in Chennai on Wednesday August 11th at 4:30 am. The trip was realitvly smooth, except for the fact that I wanted to puke my guts out the entire 9 hours from London to Chennai. I met up with two other volunteers on the flight, and we cleared customs and gathered out luggage together. I told them that they were more than welcome to go in on my hired car from the hotel, so we left the airport in search of the ever luxurious sign with "Brunstetter" on it. I felt pretty important. Until we walked outside and were met by throngs of people, flanking either side of the walk way, and no "Brunstetter" sign in sight. Ryan, one of the other volunteers bartered with a driver to get us a cab to the airport, and away we went. I had to mentally detach myself on that car ride, or surely I would have had a panic attack and died, the drivers here are MAD, but after a few minutes, you realize that there is a method to their madness, and we probably look just as crazy to them with our obeying of lane lines, usage of turn signals, and lack of livestock wandering the streets of major cities.

Flow so properly, you'll see I'm whoa!

Had a moment of utter panic this morning while transferring items for my trip into my backpack.

Luggage locks? Check.

Outlet adaptor for the Mac? Check.

Malaria prescriptions? Check.

Deet? Check and check.

Passport with Visa and travelers health insurance? NOPE.

I have only had this type of adrenaline rush when I have been on the receiving end of a car t-boning me. My internal dialogue went something along the lines of.... "You moved it to try and keep it safe, but there is really not a place in my room that is more safe than the next, so why did you move it? There is no way you can get a re-print with a week turn around, Marni, you are one stupid..." Then I started counting the exact dollar amount that I have spent to make this India trip happen, which, in case you were wondering, did not help with the sinking despair. I decided to look through the stuff I pulled out of my duffel one more time to make sure I had not missed it, and sure enough, tucked under the case that my luggage locks are in, was my passport.
This incident also made me realize how truly terrified I am to go on this trip by myself, I can't even keep track of my passport for God's sake. I will just have to take this journey one step at a time. Now I am getting on a plane.... Now I am getting into a shifty cab with a crazy driver, seeing my life flash before my eyes. Everything is going to be fine.

Seth came out for his final visit before picking me up next week, we saw Dinner for Schmucks. It was meh. There were a few moments of funny, but nothing like I was expecting from the comedic minds of Zach Galifianakis, Paul Rudd and Steve Carell. I cannot believe that this was the last time he will be visiting me at camp, I now have less than a week left, and although it was a certifiably insane decision to have a one day turn around, I am glad that I leave for India on the 9th, because I am not quite sure what I would do with myself if I went from camp to our apartment in Lafayette. Living in this closed society for the last 9 weeks, with people to talk to 24 hours a day, to not having anyone that is not covered in fur to talk to within a thousand miles.

Plans are still unclear about what will be happening come January, so I have just decided that Seth will land a great job in Seattle, or a residency in Dublin and we will sleep on a bed of money for the rest of our days. OR we could end up jobless and homeless wandering the streets of Lafayette Indiana begging for food.

The thing is...

I have started adopting catch phrases from one of my campers who is on the autism spectrum. As I was talking with mom last night I became aware that I was using the into "That's the problem" to start of the majority of my sentences. When I finally caught myself, I realized that I had adopted his speech patterns. In my defense, I spent a good chunk of my day on Wednesday luring him out of the boys bathroom, so we spend a lot of time together. He likes to use the phrases;"The thing is", "That's the problem" and "Come on". I have started using the first two like they are going out of style. You know what else I realized about this kid, I really like him, and I will miss him come Wednesday when our two weekers leave.
I cannot believe that there are only two more Friday posts before I head off to India, kind of poopin in my pants right now. One of the Israeli staff told me that lots of Israeli's go to India after their mandatory two year army service, so at least I will have friends?
I have been experiencing a slump this last week, feeling physically, emotionally and mentally spent. The administrators are getting a crash course in parenting, all of the complaints, and none of the gratitude. I have never felt so responsible for the safety and well being of others in my entire life. Made me reconsider the whole having kids thing, until I hear Zoe's voice on the other end of the phone chatting about hide and seek, and cooking with Grandma.
I taught Yoga today, and since Maria put the fear of God into her AU kids before they came, it was a really great relaxing experience. I can't wait until I am able to Yoga on a regular basis, it helps to calm my crazy. I am really trying to focus on beauty like my mom says, and to remember that in the end, I will be ok, I just need to stop counting down the days with check marks on my wall like a convict.

Ambiguous

I cannot believe that one year ago today, I was in Hawaii. I had no idea what I would be doing this summer, and never could have imagined that I would be working at a summer camp in Southern Indiana. I am in a similar position for next summer, but at least last year, I could narrow down the state that I would be living in. While three weeks looks like both the blink of an eye and an eternity from where I sit right now, from either angle, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that I will be half-way around the world on August 11th.
Today was Israel day, and so our schedule was very different from our normal routine. I always feel out of place when we change things up, and when kids are wrapped up in Israel Day or Color Wars, they don't have as much time to think about being homesick, so I am usually less busy. I can't decide if being less busy this session is good or bad. There is a lot of ambiguity in this post.
Seth and I went to Cincinnati for our one year anniversary and stayed downtown at the Westin. It was so nice to be in a metropolis. The country is nice, but nothing suites my laziness and greed like the city. We saw Inception in a big Utah-Esq googoo-plex, and ate fatty delicious Italian for dinner. It is so nice to be able to spend time with your significant other, If only we could see each other everyday..... I am sure I will eat those words come November, when Seth is the only person I have talked to face to face in two months. I have more pictures from the last few weeks, but it is such a process to get them on here, so it will probably be late July before I can give any visual representation of what I have been doing, for now, you will have to live with my poorly constructed sentences and and terrible grammar.

Session One Comes to a Close

I was feeling really great this afternoon, and didn't know what to attribute it to, until I realized that I had only been drinking mini cokes a few times a week, and today I drank a full 12 oz can. Wonderful.
In other soda related news, there is a soda out here called Ale 8, which I had never heard of until I came to camp. It is essentially mild ginger ale with caffeine. Kellie, you would love it. There are very few things Indiana has that I wish were out west, and Ale 8, you made the list. That brings it up to three things
1) Panera Bread
2) The lush foliage during the summer months
3) Ale 8
I am trying to focus my energy on the above list, so that I don't slip into Cafe Rio cravings.
Tonight is our last Shabbat with the first session campers. What a wild ride it's been. There is a part of me that feels that it went by quickly, and I wish I had more time to get to know more kids, and another part of me that is ready for a new batch with a whole new set of emotional problems. My day in Cincinnati was loads of fun. We didn't get to dinner until late due to ATM problems, but it was worth it. There was an Asian place near Edana's apartment called Aspara. I didn't realize that I hadn't really had anything spicy since camp started. Delicious tofu spicy noodles, I won't soon forget you. We walked around an area called Mt. Adams on the fourth, it was pretty dead due to the holiday, but the neighborhood was adorable, and in spots reminded me of San Francisco. We had a late lunch/early dinner at a pub that we lovingly refer to as the $4 big beer place, because that is what we were most excited about. I have pictures that I will post next weekend when Seth and I celebrate our first year of marriage, although technically, it is more like 4 months if you count actual time spent together this last year. I can't believe it was a year ago that I was a week away from the wedding. I need to go prep for Shabbat dinner.
Shabbat Shalom.

Don't focus on the one guy who hates you....

"Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
I am working hard to not focus on the dog shit in life.
This last week we said goodbye to our two week campers, and are now well past the half way point of the first session, one week from tomorrow will be the final day of the first half of my summer. I am sure there is a better way to word that, but I am exhausted. I am having many a lesson on staying present, but it is very difficult when I feel anticipatory anxiety over things that might happen. I know that there will be more drama, my problem is that I feel if I let my guard down, that it will be worse than if I wait expecting it with knots in my stomach. I am fully aware that logically this makes no sense.
I am teaching the Yoga rotation today, and I now realize that taking a Yoga class and teaching a Yoga class are two very different experiences, I am much more stressed after teaching a Yoga class to a group of unresponsive kids than I was before the class started.I also find myself using the same language and metaphors that I snickered at when I took classes in the past, I am not sure if it is just because this is what I know, or that this is what works. Taking a Yoga class always left me relaxed and reflective, teaching a Yoga class leaves me rageful and angry.
Seth is working hard in Bloomington, and getting ready for a visit with his parents this weekend. He was going to come up on Friday night again and leave Sunday morning, but we decided that this would reek of effort and time, and we will just wait until our anniversary on the 17th. So I am taking my day off from Saturday night to Sunday with Maria and Kelly, we are heading to the bustling metropolis of Cincinnati. I hear tell there is an H&M...... Which is enough for me.

First Official Week

The campers arrived one week ago today, and they have been keeping me busy with sleep disorders, homesickness, bunk changes, camper/counselor issues and fist fights. There are two girls bunks in particular that seem to be taking up most of my energy. I really had no idea that summer camp could ruin your entire childhood but apparently, I was wrong. What is funny is that I get some of the same arguments here for why life is terrible as I did in residential treatment, where kids were physically restrained if they tried to leave and I had to dish up their condiments. I guess twelve year old girls will bring drama with them wherever they go. I am the lone wolf in my department, and no one wants to join my wolf pack, which is understandable, as none of them choose the profession of being emotionally pooped on except me. Speaking of which, I had a can of crazy opened up on me by a mother, who essentially told me that I was a terrible therapist, and that I don't view kids as individuals because I told her that it was unseasonably hot, and our kids were exhausted, which may be playing a part into why her daughter feels like she wants to come home. Don't worry La Europa peeps, I did an Arbinger brush up before camp started, so I didn't loose it, but I did call Chris and sob and drip snot all over the phone for twenty minutes. This post may be more negative than usual, as I was awoken last night to nausea that refused to let me sleep until I released the contents of my stomach an hour later. Which may have had something to do with the snot I left all over my receiver.... I am feeling better now, and was able to take it easy the majority of the day, and most importantly catch up on trashy television. Seth will be here on Friday night, to kick off my first official day off in three weeks. I am so excited to sleep in, and eat in a restaurant that isn't filled with kids. Well, I just received a call from a parent worried about letters home, and now need to go investigate, so until next time, Lilah Tov.

I should be telling you what these pictures are...

But instead I am going to tell you about the fun-filled evening I had last night. Just as we were sitting down to dinner, we got a call on the radio that there was a tornado warning, and that we needed to head to the office. We marched to the office, and were instructed that the tornado touched down in Madison, which apparently is not far from here, and we needed to go to the basement. We all stood around in the basement for a while, or right outside watching the very angry sky dump it's fury on us. We ended up having dinner in the office, because they weren't sure if the tornado warning was going to start up again. One of the Israeli scouts poked her head into Edana's office and said , "This is so exciting, just like the movie". "Which Movie," I asked "The one where everybody dies?" She just squealed and ran out. At least they don't require much to impress them, just a destructive act from God will do the trick. The English were speculating that it had to be the second coming of Christ because "Touchdown Jesus" (a statue of Jesus coming out of a pond in front of a church located just outside of Dayton) was struck by lightning the day before, and now he is just a couple of metal poles protruding out of the ground. The pictures are pretty apocalyptic. So after all of this settled down and we were free to leave, I went home and watched a very enlightening show called; "I didn't know I was pregnant". Apparently, there are enough women out there having babies on toilets that they have devoted an entire half hour of programming to it. I figured I would turn in early, because the campers were arriving the next morning, and I wanted to be bright eyed and bushy tailed. So I climbed into bed and started reading, I was getting drowsy, and about to turn off my light when I felt something move near my head, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of gray. That flash, turned out to be a mouse. THAT RAN ACROSS MY FACE. I yelped, which was futile, because I was the only one in the house, everyone else was in the office. So I radioed over to see if there was anyone that was available to help me catch a mouse. Edana came over with Binny, and Paula (the facilities director who lives at camp year round) and her daughter Aerial, and her friend Chloe. It took all six of us 30 minutes and multiple devices to catch the TWO mice we found living under my bed. That's right, I was sleeping on top of a mouse family. The country girls were saying we should suffocate them a plastic bag, but they decided instead to dump them into a giant water jug, and think of some more creative way to implement their torturous plan. One of the mice got away in the process, and they carted the other one off in the jug and left it on the front porch of the office. I secretly released him on a mercy mission this morning, but with the understanding that if he came back, I would go medieval on his little mouse ass. I couldn't have a mouse death weighing on me, I'm a vegetarian.

Photos III

Photos II

Photos I

Here are the much anticipated photos from camp I'm posting for Marni. There are quite a few of them so they will be posted in a few installments. Enjoy.