Had a moment of utter panic this morning while transferring items for my trip into my backpack.
Luggage locks? Check.
Outlet adaptor for the Mac? Check.
Malaria prescriptions? Check.
Deet? Check and check.
Passport with Visa and travelers health insurance? NOPE.
I have only had this type of adrenaline rush when I have been on the receiving end of a car t-boning me. My internal dialogue went something along the lines of.... "You moved it to try and keep it safe, but there is really not a place in my room that is more safe than the next, so why did you move it? There is no way you can get a re-print with a week turn around, Marni, you are one stupid..." Then I started counting the exact dollar amount that I have spent to make this India trip happen, which, in case you were wondering, did not help with the sinking despair. I decided to look through the stuff I pulled out of my duffel one more time to make sure I had not missed it, and sure enough, tucked under the case that my luggage locks are in, was my passport.
This incident also made me realize how truly terrified I am to go on this trip by myself, I can't even keep track of my passport for God's sake. I will just have to take this journey one step at a time. Now I am getting on a plane.... Now I am getting into a shifty cab with a crazy driver, seeing my life flash before my eyes. Everything is going to be fine.
Seth came out for his final visit before picking me up next week, we saw Dinner for Schmucks. It was meh. There were a few moments of funny, but nothing like I was expecting from the comedic minds of Zach Galifianakis, Paul Rudd and Steve Carell. I cannot believe that this was the last time he will be visiting me at camp, I now have less than a week left, and although it was a certifiably insane decision to have a one day turn around, I am glad that I leave for India on the 9th, because I am not quite sure what I would do with myself if I went from camp to our apartment in Lafayette. Living in this closed society for the last 9 weeks, with people to talk to 24 hours a day, to not having anyone that is not covered in fur to talk to within a thousand miles.
Plans are still unclear about what will be happening come January, so I have just decided that Seth will land a great job in Seattle, or a residency in Dublin and we will sleep on a bed of money for the rest of our days. OR we could end up jobless and homeless wandering the streets of Lafayette Indiana begging for food.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
The thing is...
I have started adopting catch phrases from one of my campers who is on the autism spectrum. As I was talking with mom last night I became aware that I was using the into "That's the problem" to start of the majority of my sentences. When I finally caught myself, I realized that I had adopted his speech patterns. In my defense, I spent a good chunk of my day on Wednesday luring him out of the boys bathroom, so we spend a lot of time together. He likes to use the phrases;"The thing is", "That's the problem" and "Come on". I have started using the first two like they are going out of style. You know what else I realized about this kid, I really like him, and I will miss him come Wednesday when our two weekers leave.
I cannot believe that there are only two more Friday posts before I head off to India, kind of poopin in my pants right now. One of the Israeli staff told me that lots of Israeli's go to India after their mandatory two year army service, so at least I will have friends?
I have been experiencing a slump this last week, feeling physically, emotionally and mentally spent. The administrators are getting a crash course in parenting, all of the complaints, and none of the gratitude. I have never felt so responsible for the safety and well being of others in my entire life. Made me reconsider the whole having kids thing, until I hear Zoe's voice on the other end of the phone chatting about hide and seek, and cooking with Grandma.
I taught Yoga today, and since Maria put the fear of God into her AU kids before they came, it was a really great relaxing experience. I can't wait until I am able to Yoga on a regular basis, it helps to calm my crazy. I am really trying to focus on beauty like my mom says, and to remember that in the end, I will be ok, I just need to stop counting down the days with check marks on my wall like a convict.
I cannot believe that there are only two more Friday posts before I head off to India, kind of poopin in my pants right now. One of the Israeli staff told me that lots of Israeli's go to India after their mandatory two year army service, so at least I will have friends?
I have been experiencing a slump this last week, feeling physically, emotionally and mentally spent. The administrators are getting a crash course in parenting, all of the complaints, and none of the gratitude. I have never felt so responsible for the safety and well being of others in my entire life. Made me reconsider the whole having kids thing, until I hear Zoe's voice on the other end of the phone chatting about hide and seek, and cooking with Grandma.
I taught Yoga today, and since Maria put the fear of God into her AU kids before they came, it was a really great relaxing experience. I can't wait until I am able to Yoga on a regular basis, it helps to calm my crazy. I am really trying to focus on beauty like my mom says, and to remember that in the end, I will be ok, I just need to stop counting down the days with check marks on my wall like a convict.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Ambiguous
I cannot believe that one year ago today, I was in Hawaii. I had no idea what I would be doing this summer, and never could have imagined that I would be working at a summer camp in Southern Indiana. I am in a similar position for next summer, but at least last year, I could narrow down the state that I would be living in. While three weeks looks like both the blink of an eye and an eternity from where I sit right now, from either angle, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that I will be half-way around the world on August 11th.
Today was Israel day, and so our schedule was very different from our normal routine. I always feel out of place when we change things up, and when kids are wrapped up in Israel Day or Color Wars, they don't have as much time to think about being homesick, so I am usually less busy. I can't decide if being less busy this session is good or bad. There is a lot of ambiguity in this post.
Seth and I went to Cincinnati for our one year anniversary and stayed downtown at the Westin. It was so nice to be in a metropolis. The country is nice, but nothing suites my laziness and greed like the city. We saw Inception in a big Utah-Esq googoo-plex, and ate fatty delicious Italian for dinner. It is so nice to be able to spend time with your significant other, If only we could see each other everyday..... I am sure I will eat those words come November, when Seth is the only person I have talked to face to face in two months. I have more pictures from the last few weeks, but it is such a process to get them on here, so it will probably be late July before I can give any visual representation of what I have been doing, for now, you will have to live with my poorly constructed sentences and and terrible grammar.
Today was Israel day, and so our schedule was very different from our normal routine. I always feel out of place when we change things up, and when kids are wrapped up in Israel Day or Color Wars, they don't have as much time to think about being homesick, so I am usually less busy. I can't decide if being less busy this session is good or bad. There is a lot of ambiguity in this post.
Seth and I went to Cincinnati for our one year anniversary and stayed downtown at the Westin. It was so nice to be in a metropolis. The country is nice, but nothing suites my laziness and greed like the city. We saw Inception in a big Utah-Esq googoo-plex, and ate fatty delicious Italian for dinner. It is so nice to be able to spend time with your significant other, If only we could see each other everyday..... I am sure I will eat those words come November, when Seth is the only person I have talked to face to face in two months. I have more pictures from the last few weeks, but it is such a process to get them on here, so it will probably be late July before I can give any visual representation of what I have been doing, for now, you will have to live with my poorly constructed sentences and and terrible grammar.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Session One Comes to a Close
I was feeling really great this afternoon, and didn't know what to attribute it to, until I realized that I had only been drinking mini cokes a few times a week, and today I drank a full 12 oz can. Wonderful.
In other soda related news, there is a soda out here called Ale 8, which I had never heard of until I came to camp. It is essentially mild ginger ale with caffeine. Kellie, you would love it. There are very few things Indiana has that I wish were out west, and Ale 8, you made the list. That brings it up to three things
1) Panera Bread
2) The lush foliage during the summer months
3) Ale 8
I am trying to focus my energy on the above list, so that I don't slip into Cafe Rio cravings.
Tonight is our last Shabbat with the first session campers. What a wild ride it's been. There is a part of me that feels that it went by quickly, and I wish I had more time to get to know more kids, and another part of me that is ready for a new batch with a whole new set of emotional problems. My day in Cincinnati was loads of fun. We didn't get to dinner until late due to ATM problems, but it was worth it. There was an Asian place near Edana's apartment called Aspara. I didn't realize that I hadn't really had anything spicy since camp started. Delicious tofu spicy noodles, I won't soon forget you. We walked around an area called Mt. Adams on the fourth, it was pretty dead due to the holiday, but the neighborhood was adorable, and in spots reminded me of San Francisco. We had a late lunch/early dinner at a pub that we lovingly refer to as the $4 big beer place, because that is what we were most excited about. I have pictures that I will post next weekend when Seth and I celebrate our first year of marriage, although technically, it is more like 4 months if you count actual time spent together this last year. I can't believe it was a year ago that I was a week away from the wedding. I need to go prep for Shabbat dinner.
Shabbat Shalom.
In other soda related news, there is a soda out here called Ale 8, which I had never heard of until I came to camp. It is essentially mild ginger ale with caffeine. Kellie, you would love it. There are very few things Indiana has that I wish were out west, and Ale 8, you made the list. That brings it up to three things
1) Panera Bread
2) The lush foliage during the summer months
3) Ale 8
I am trying to focus my energy on the above list, so that I don't slip into Cafe Rio cravings.
Tonight is our last Shabbat with the first session campers. What a wild ride it's been. There is a part of me that feels that it went by quickly, and I wish I had more time to get to know more kids, and another part of me that is ready for a new batch with a whole new set of emotional problems. My day in Cincinnati was loads of fun. We didn't get to dinner until late due to ATM problems, but it was worth it. There was an Asian place near Edana's apartment called Aspara. I didn't realize that I hadn't really had anything spicy since camp started. Delicious tofu spicy noodles, I won't soon forget you. We walked around an area called Mt. Adams on the fourth, it was pretty dead due to the holiday, but the neighborhood was adorable, and in spots reminded me of San Francisco. We had a late lunch/early dinner at a pub that we lovingly refer to as the $4 big beer place, because that is what we were most excited about. I have pictures that I will post next weekend when Seth and I celebrate our first year of marriage, although technically, it is more like 4 months if you count actual time spent together this last year. I can't believe it was a year ago that I was a week away from the wedding. I need to go prep for Shabbat dinner.
Shabbat Shalom.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Don't focus on the one guy who hates you....
"Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
I am working hard to not focus on the dog shit in life.
This last week we said goodbye to our two week campers, and are now well past the half way point of the first session, one week from tomorrow will be the final day of the first half of my summer. I am sure there is a better way to word that, but I am exhausted. I am having many a lesson on staying present, but it is very difficult when I feel anticipatory anxiety over things that might happen. I know that there will be more drama, my problem is that I feel if I let my guard down, that it will be worse than if I wait expecting it with knots in my stomach. I am fully aware that logically this makes no sense.
I am teaching the Yoga rotation today, and I now realize that taking a Yoga class and teaching a Yoga class are two very different experiences, I am much more stressed after teaching a Yoga class to a group of unresponsive kids than I was before the class started.I also find myself using the same language and metaphors that I snickered at when I took classes in the past, I am not sure if it is just because this is what I know, or that this is what works. Taking a Yoga class always left me relaxed and reflective, teaching a Yoga class leaves me rageful and angry.
Seth is working hard in Bloomington, and getting ready for a visit with his parents this weekend. He was going to come up on Friday night again and leave Sunday morning, but we decided that this would reek of effort and time, and we will just wait until our anniversary on the 17th. So I am taking my day off from Saturday night to Sunday with Maria and Kelly, we are heading to the bustling metropolis of Cincinnati. I hear tell there is an H&M...... Which is enough for me.
I am working hard to not focus on the dog shit in life.
This last week we said goodbye to our two week campers, and are now well past the half way point of the first session, one week from tomorrow will be the final day of the first half of my summer. I am sure there is a better way to word that, but I am exhausted. I am having many a lesson on staying present, but it is very difficult when I feel anticipatory anxiety over things that might happen. I know that there will be more drama, my problem is that I feel if I let my guard down, that it will be worse than if I wait expecting it with knots in my stomach. I am fully aware that logically this makes no sense.
I am teaching the Yoga rotation today, and I now realize that taking a Yoga class and teaching a Yoga class are two very different experiences, I am much more stressed after teaching a Yoga class to a group of unresponsive kids than I was before the class started.I also find myself using the same language and metaphors that I snickered at when I took classes in the past, I am not sure if it is just because this is what I know, or that this is what works. Taking a Yoga class always left me relaxed and reflective, teaching a Yoga class leaves me rageful and angry.
Seth is working hard in Bloomington, and getting ready for a visit with his parents this weekend. He was going to come up on Friday night again and leave Sunday morning, but we decided that this would reek of effort and time, and we will just wait until our anniversary on the 17th. So I am taking my day off from Saturday night to Sunday with Maria and Kelly, we are heading to the bustling metropolis of Cincinnati. I hear tell there is an H&M...... Which is enough for me.
