Interview with a Social Worker

I have been frantically applying for/ interviewing / being rejected by future jobs, and when I began this process I googled "Interview Tips". My thought process being,
"I have been out of the job market for a while, perhaps I should brush up on some basic helpful hints". I was surprised to learn that while I have taken my little 6 month sabbatical, the job force has apparently been inundated with slutty apes.
Here are some examples of interview "tips" I found: (paraphrased of course)


-Wear enough make-up to look like you give a shit, but not so much that you look like a prostitute.
-Men are sexist, so if you are interviewing with a man, wear a skirt and show some leg, but not so much leg that you look like a prostitute.
-Don't chew gum (Not being much of gum chewer, I was surprised that there were enough people out there smacking their gum in job interviews to necessitate this "tip")
-Look the interviewer in the eyes. (Because some applicants confuse their future employer with an aggressive dog)


I was feeling pretty confident about myself after reading the advice that was being given to job seekers. Until I went to my first few interviews and received the condescending rejection calls, or better, no calls at all. If you saw me in the flesh, the least you can do is be an adult and pick up your phone and let me know that I am inadequate.

Which of course would lead to me crying to Seth about how I will never find work, and him reminding me that I have only been looking for work seriously for the last three weeks. The good news for Seth is that I was offered a position yesterday working with chronically homeless veterans in a housing complex in Salt Lake. I am so excited to start putting my education to good use, and more importantly, feel less like the succubus at the bottom of my mom's stairs.