Along with detoxing my body, this diet has also cleansed what little fun I was having before out of my life. You never realize how much socialization revolves around food and drink, until you are forced to stop drinking anything fun and delicious, and stop eating anything that wasn't ripped from it's roots and set on your plate. As one who has never restricted what I ate ( I actually like all of the healthy stuff, my problem is that I like all of the unhealthy stuff too) this comes as a shock to your system. I was talking to one of my friends trying to set up a time to hang out, when he asked me if we could meet up last Saturday for drinks. We can meet you I replied, but we can't eat or drink anything. I have never been a huge sports fan, and as one who cares not for the outcome of a football game, this event is made even more banal by not having chips and beer to stuff down your gullet. Week two is supposed to be the hardest, and while the time is going by faster, the urge to bail is much stronger. Oh, and did you know those bastards at Costco have chocolate covered strawberries in BULK, because they do, today I watched as people put donuts, mini quiche and fresh bread on the conveyer belt, as the cashier asked me, "Do you need anything else?", I scanned the baby greens, frozen berries and kiwis, thinking if only you knew. Seth is talking crazy about eating burritos the day after the cleanse, which he is is free to do, but will not get any sympathy from me re: the terrible stomach aches and diarrhea that will ensue.
As far as how I feel, good. I was grumpy and unusually hungry yesterday, and it was all I could do to choke down another bowl of soup for dinner, but I am amazed at how well I am able to handle feeling hungry without resorting to tantrums and throwing up. I credit this to the diets design to keep the glycemic levels in your body stable. I haven't noticed any real difference in my skin, but it certainly hasn't gotten worse, and I just keep telling myself, think of all the garbage that would have passed through you had you not done the cleanse? Which is proven by the 5 1/2 pounds I lost last week...
In other news, I keep getting turned down for jobs that I am over qualified for, resulting in more time spent in the basement. I should just start playing Dungeons and Dragons now, and save myself the slow and steady decline into leech status. I am really not as depressing as this post would depict, I am grateful that we are near family and friends, and that there is a basement in which we can crash for the next few months. Oh! and Seth passed his drug test that had originally come back, "negative dillute" and is starting his orientation back at the U on Monday. He will be gone all day Valentines day, but it is not as though we have anything planned, I guess I could try and be cute and make some sort of "red soup" concoction.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
I believe they call this "crawling back"
Well, we are officially back in Salt Lake City, we left Lafayette on the 20th, to start our 5 day road trip across the country. The weather co-operated for the most part, and there were only a few treacherous roads that we needed to maneuver, and by we I mean Seth ( I volunteered to drive, but he wouldn't let me, less out of chivalry than martyrdom though..). First night was spent in Chicago with Maribeth, unfortunately for her, we had spent the day finishing up the packing and cleaning that makes for some very lazy house guests. As we were leaving Chicago the next morning, our widows immediately frosted over, and the thermometer read 0. Proof that the Midwest is uninhabitable. Maybe was very well behaved in her crate for the entire trip, and only barked occasionally at other guests at the hotel in Sioux Falls. We stayed with my mom's former co-worker Sarah in Rapid City the next night, and while stuffed full of wax grilled cheese sandwiches from the small town diners, I agreed to try a three week vegan cleanse diet. Today marks my first day, and my stomach is presently reminding me that I have not met my carb and cheese quota for the day. More on this in a minute.* For the last leg of our trip, we stopped in Billings to visit my Grandma, who graciously gave us her bed for the night, and stuffed us full of pie. We arrived in Salt Lake on Monday to news of a new pseudo niece, Yvette Redman who arrived that morning on her mother's birthday. She is quite squeezy,and has the most beautifully round head of any new born to date, and did I mention that she is absolutely adorable? I would post pictures, but Kellie likes to keep a low internet profile, and who knows how many weirdos out there read my blog... Right there are six of you. I can see you on my sidebar. Congrats Kellie and Joseph!
We have unpacked and settled back into our lair living as trolls in Mom's basement. Seth is going back to work at the U for the next 5-6 months, and I am making a complete circle and applying for seasonal positions at local nurseries ( the job I had in High School ten years ago before I undertook 7 total years of higher education so that I didn't have to work in low level temporary seasonal positions for the rest of my life). Think about the irony. But hopefully we will be onto bigger and better things for the latter half of 2011, Seth received his masters diploma today, and confirmation of his American Board of Radiology application fulfillment, so that he may take his boards in August to start his official board certification. And once we know where we are headed for the PhD part of his scheme, then I can start studying for my liscensure test to prove that I memorized all of the correct theory, that is never applied in everyday practice. In the mean time, I will concentrate most of my energy on not feeling sorry for myself, at least I haven't worn out the welcome at moms...yet.
* The vegan cleanse is part of the CLEAN diet which is used to help you feel less like a pile of turds, increase energy, improve digestive function, and help break the sugar, fat, salt addiction that I have been feeding for the last 26 years. You have liquid meals for breakfast and dinner, no crazy lemonade concoctions here, just a smoothie with fresh fruit and nut milk, and then soups for dinner, this is supposed to be really easy on the digestive track, and then you have a real food meal for your lunch. The diet restricts anything that can cause irritation, which happen to have been my staples of vegetarian eating for the last 9 years, wheat, dairy, soy. I will update to keep you six informed of my progress, and of course to keep me honest.
And now, a reward for reading through all of my terrible grammer! Pictures from our move!
We have unpacked and settled back into our lair living as trolls in Mom's basement. Seth is going back to work at the U for the next 5-6 months, and I am making a complete circle and applying for seasonal positions at local nurseries ( the job I had in High School ten years ago before I undertook 7 total years of higher education so that I didn't have to work in low level temporary seasonal positions for the rest of my life). Think about the irony. But hopefully we will be onto bigger and better things for the latter half of 2011, Seth received his masters diploma today, and confirmation of his American Board of Radiology application fulfillment, so that he may take his boards in August to start his official board certification. And once we know where we are headed for the PhD part of his scheme, then I can start studying for my liscensure test to prove that I memorized all of the correct theory, that is never applied in everyday practice. In the mean time, I will concentrate most of my energy on not feeling sorry for myself, at least I haven't worn out the welcome at moms...yet.
* The vegan cleanse is part of the CLEAN diet which is used to help you feel less like a pile of turds, increase energy, improve digestive function, and help break the sugar, fat, salt addiction that I have been feeding for the last 26 years. You have liquid meals for breakfast and dinner, no crazy lemonade concoctions here, just a smoothie with fresh fruit and nut milk, and then soups for dinner, this is supposed to be really easy on the digestive track, and then you have a real food meal for your lunch. The diet restricts anything that can cause irritation, which happen to have been my staples of vegetarian eating for the last 9 years, wheat, dairy, soy. I will update to keep you six informed of my progress, and of course to keep me honest.
And now, a reward for reading through all of my terrible grammer! Pictures from our move!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
This New Year I resolve to become an adult.
I actually have a resolution this year, and it's a good one. I am going on a clothes diet. No clothes shopping for one year. In an effort to save money and the world, I am giving up on my favorite past time, spending what I don't have to buy more gray and black sweaters. This is also a great excuse to not resolve to loose any weight this year.
We have been in Salt Lake for the last two weeks, celebrating the holidays with our families and friends. It is so strange to be back, mostly because I know we will be hopping in the car upon our return to Indiana and making a b-line back to this very basement, but also in how I feel as though I never left. We spent Christmas morning with Dad and Sue, Chris, Candice, Zoe and Luc, having brunch and watching Zoe tear into presents. Oh, and holding baby Luc. And by holding I mean smothering. I had a hankerin' to hold that baby, and that is exactly what I did... for the next five hours. We spent the evening with Mom, making the fanciest of Christmas cocktails, and of course more food and baby holding. The rest of our time has been divided between Eric and Holly, and Kellie and her soon to be baby, who I will also smother. We spent New Year at Eric and Holly's with some of their friends, ringing in 2011 with plenty of Champagne, and a little self control, we are after all closer to 30 than 20. And Kellie and I are back to our old ritual of thrift store haggling and eating mexican.
Overall, it's been a great two weeks, here's hoping it is a foreshadow of the next five months.
We have been in Salt Lake for the last two weeks, celebrating the holidays with our families and friends. It is so strange to be back, mostly because I know we will be hopping in the car upon our return to Indiana and making a b-line back to this very basement, but also in how I feel as though I never left. We spent Christmas morning with Dad and Sue, Chris, Candice, Zoe and Luc, having brunch and watching Zoe tear into presents. Oh, and holding baby Luc. And by holding I mean smothering. I had a hankerin' to hold that baby, and that is exactly what I did... for the next five hours. We spent the evening with Mom, making the fanciest of Christmas cocktails, and of course more food and baby holding. The rest of our time has been divided between Eric and Holly, and Kellie and her soon to be baby, who I will also smother. We spent New Year at Eric and Holly's with some of their friends, ringing in 2011 with plenty of Champagne, and a little self control, we are after all closer to 30 than 20. And Kellie and I are back to our old ritual of thrift store haggling and eating mexican.
Overall, it's been a great two weeks, here's hoping it is a foreshadow of the next five months.
Friday, December 17, 2010
More ramblings on sweat pants
Well, we are over half way through December, and I still have nothing to show for my life...
We went to El Paso for Thanksgiving to spend the holiday with Seth's family, it was before the cold really hit here, so I was a little disappointed that the temperature was not much higher than here in Lafayette. Also a little disappointed that we didn't witness one drug related shooting or kidnapping, way to live up to your reputation Juarez.
Oh but the Mexican food. Words cannot describe the joy of shoving real Mexican food down my gullet for the first time in six months. Needless to say, I was quite gassy.
Seth has been busy with his last semester at Purdue, and looking forward to his future academic pursuits. I am looking forward to having a reason to get out of bed in the morning, because if I am being honest here, no one is here to witness if I change from my pajama pants to my workout pants, and there have been days that Seth has had to ask me if I had showered or even left the couch in the six hours that he has been away.
I have been doing some contract work with the Military Family Research Institute, which pays well, and forces me out of the sweat pants that have started to embed themselves around my waist. I drive to National Guard Members homes and interview them about their families, which is forcing me to eat my hat because when I left grad school I just KNEW I would never do research.
We will be back in Salt Lake for the holidays, and then will make a quick U turn upon arriving in Indiana and come right back for the foreseeable future while we await responses from the PhD programs that Seth has applied to. Nothing says 'making my own way' like moving into your mother's basement for the third time in your adult life.
We went to El Paso for Thanksgiving to spend the holiday with Seth's family, it was before the cold really hit here, so I was a little disappointed that the temperature was not much higher than here in Lafayette. Also a little disappointed that we didn't witness one drug related shooting or kidnapping, way to live up to your reputation Juarez.
Oh but the Mexican food. Words cannot describe the joy of shoving real Mexican food down my gullet for the first time in six months. Needless to say, I was quite gassy.
Seth has been busy with his last semester at Purdue, and looking forward to his future academic pursuits. I am looking forward to having a reason to get out of bed in the morning, because if I am being honest here, no one is here to witness if I change from my pajama pants to my workout pants, and there have been days that Seth has had to ask me if I had showered or even left the couch in the six hours that he has been away.
I have been doing some contract work with the Military Family Research Institute, which pays well, and forces me out of the sweat pants that have started to embed themselves around my waist. I drive to National Guard Members homes and interview them about their families, which is forcing me to eat my hat because when I left grad school I just KNEW I would never do research.
We will be back in Salt Lake for the holidays, and then will make a quick U turn upon arriving in Indiana and come right back for the foreseeable future while we await responses from the PhD programs that Seth has applied to. Nothing says 'making my own way' like moving into your mother's basement for the third time in your adult life.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
A recap of November, and Marni inches a year closer to death.
I guess I should update this thing.
While I wish I could say that this short hiatus is due to adult responsibilities, I cannot. Unless you count hours spent in front of the computer watching old episodes of Teen Mom as adult responsibilities. Thanks to a very generous birthday gift from Alex, I was able to go to Seattle at the beginning of this month to visit with her and Danny, a much needed trip to the northwest, where I was able to interact with friends, an experience that I have not had much of in the last two months. My apologies to Alex and Danny for any awkwardness that may have ensued from my time in isolation. I was very glutinous, especially of the Mexican food, which if we have had a conversation in the last six months, no doubt I have whined to you about the lack luster velveeta stuffed Chile Rellenos that can be found in Indiana. We ate and drank and lounged, a Marni kind of weekend.
The following week Mom came out for her fist and last visit to the state, we were able to spend the afternoon in Indianapolis after she arrived. I tried to take her to the botanical gardens, but I guess they have "business hours" and closed at 5 pm, so we went wine tasting instead. Seth and I have discovered that there are actually quite a few local wineries here, and while some are classier than others, they are a welcome sight from the usual landscape of fast food chains and liquor stores. We wine tasted, hiked and ate organically. A mom kind of weekend.
Now on to the real news, Harry Potter 7 part 1. While I held out on reading these books as per my usual, "wait until something is no longer cool before I get balls deep into it". I will admit my reckless abandon no holds barred love for this series. I own that this may pigeon hole me into the ranks of the stay at home mom's who read the twilight series to capture the sexual tension and angst of their early teens, I have accepted this, and am willing to sacrifice my reputation, squelch any last traces of cool from my youth and just give in... Like freezing to death.
We will be heading to El Paso for Thanksgiving tomorrow, The first warm Thanksgiving of my life. I cannot wait for the Mexican food, I tried to convince Seth that we should forgo the traditional Thanksgiving fare for a more "South of the Boarder" approach, but he was not on board. Now for some pictures...
Oh, and I guess I turned 27, but does anyone really care about birthdays between 22-100?
While I wish I could say that this short hiatus is due to adult responsibilities, I cannot. Unless you count hours spent in front of the computer watching old episodes of Teen Mom as adult responsibilities. Thanks to a very generous birthday gift from Alex, I was able to go to Seattle at the beginning of this month to visit with her and Danny, a much needed trip to the northwest, where I was able to interact with friends, an experience that I have not had much of in the last two months. My apologies to Alex and Danny for any awkwardness that may have ensued from my time in isolation. I was very glutinous, especially of the Mexican food, which if we have had a conversation in the last six months, no doubt I have whined to you about the lack luster velveeta stuffed Chile Rellenos that can be found in Indiana. We ate and drank and lounged, a Marni kind of weekend.
The following week Mom came out for her fist and last visit to the state, we were able to spend the afternoon in Indianapolis after she arrived. I tried to take her to the botanical gardens, but I guess they have "business hours" and closed at 5 pm, so we went wine tasting instead. Seth and I have discovered that there are actually quite a few local wineries here, and while some are classier than others, they are a welcome sight from the usual landscape of fast food chains and liquor stores. We wine tasted, hiked and ate organically. A mom kind of weekend.
Now on to the real news, Harry Potter 7 part 1. While I held out on reading these books as per my usual, "wait until something is no longer cool before I get balls deep into it". I will admit my reckless abandon no holds barred love for this series. I own that this may pigeon hole me into the ranks of the stay at home mom's who read the twilight series to capture the sexual tension and angst of their early teens, I have accepted this, and am willing to sacrifice my reputation, squelch any last traces of cool from my youth and just give in... Like freezing to death.
We will be heading to El Paso for Thanksgiving tomorrow, The first warm Thanksgiving of my life. I cannot wait for the Mexican food, I tried to convince Seth that we should forgo the traditional Thanksgiving fare for a more "South of the Boarder" approach, but he was not on board. Now for some pictures...
Oh, and I guess I turned 27, but does anyone really care about birthdays between 22-100?
Friday, October 22, 2010
Pictures for Seth
Seth expressed a belief that he was under-represented in this blog, so here are some pictures of the two of us, one at the Lafayette "Oktoberfest" and the second at the Snoop concert. Unfortunatly no pictures of my trip to Chicago as I forgot to pack the camera, bummer. At least Maribeth and I will always have our cherished memories....
Do-do post
I never considered myself to be a work-aholic, I have never had the urge to "always be doing", I used to be able to do nothing quite happily. My how times have changed. When one is forced into a state of "doing nothing" the restraints are just as confining as a full time job, but much less fulfilling. I wish I could just "do". We find ourselves thrown into another state of limbo here, now that Seth has decided to apply to different PhD programs. Now one thing is certain, and that is, there are no certainties.
The catalyst for this forlorn post is simple, the bill I received for my student loans today. Overwhelming in and of itself, but as I took my "eligibility quiz" for forbearance, I was asked to pick an end date to the delayed payment period. I burst into tears. I don't know the end date to this forbearance period of my life, let alone when we will be financially ready to start paying off my graduate school debts. I am filled with anger, anger that cannot be directed at any one thing in particular, it sits undefined as the lump in my throat, the tightness in my stomach. All because I cannot "do" anything about it. When I have struggled in the past, I was usually the cause of most of my hardship, and therefore could make changes to overcome and move through them. I dug myself out of debt, I restored my families trust that I could be relied upon to handle the responsibilities of being an adult, I took on these challenges and "did" something about them. Now there is nothing to "do" but wait, with patience and grace and support for the person who in my weaker moments I blame for putting me in this situation. I know the right answers, to just live in this moment, practice presence, do not get bogged down in the shameful past or unknown future. I know these things... but it is another thing entirely to "do" them.
In more uplifting news, I became an aunt 2x over last night, my auntie arms have been aching to cuddle with my new nephew, which will be another practice in patience as I will not get to meet him personally until December, by which time I may snatch him up and never return him.
The catalyst for this forlorn post is simple, the bill I received for my student loans today. Overwhelming in and of itself, but as I took my "eligibility quiz" for forbearance, I was asked to pick an end date to the delayed payment period. I burst into tears. I don't know the end date to this forbearance period of my life, let alone when we will be financially ready to start paying off my graduate school debts. I am filled with anger, anger that cannot be directed at any one thing in particular, it sits undefined as the lump in my throat, the tightness in my stomach. All because I cannot "do" anything about it. When I have struggled in the past, I was usually the cause of most of my hardship, and therefore could make changes to overcome and move through them. I dug myself out of debt, I restored my families trust that I could be relied upon to handle the responsibilities of being an adult, I took on these challenges and "did" something about them. Now there is nothing to "do" but wait, with patience and grace and support for the person who in my weaker moments I blame for putting me in this situation. I know the right answers, to just live in this moment, practice presence, do not get bogged down in the shameful past or unknown future. I know these things... but it is another thing entirely to "do" them.
In more uplifting news, I became an aunt 2x over last night, my auntie arms have been aching to cuddle with my new nephew, which will be another practice in patience as I will not get to meet him personally until December, by which time I may snatch him up and never return him.
